IW7 and Durga: Patience for Different Learning Rhythms

The instructions have been explained twice, yet someone at the table still looks uncertain. Another person has already understood and is tapping a finger impatiently. In our Ishta Mel reflection on IW7, this small moment raises a serious question: can we remain competitive without treating another person’s learning rhythm as an inconvenience? We turn towards Durga for the strength to stay generous when impatience feels easier. Our conduct during these few minutes can decide whether the other person feels able to learn or feels compelled to hide confusion.

Do not let speed stand for the whole person

Speed is visible, so we often mistake it for the whole of ability. A quick reply receives attention immediately. Careful understanding may arrive quietly after a demonstration, a question or some private thought. Neither pace tells us everything about future competence. Someone who needs longer at the beginning may later notice a detail that the quicker learner missed. We need not predict who will become better. We simply need to stop using the first few minutes as a final judgement about a person.

Patience becomes more demanding when our own preparation is strong. We may feel that we have earned the right to move quickly. That feeling contains a reasonable need: our time matters too. Yet a reasonable need does not require an unkind response. We can explain how much time we have, agree on a manageable portion and return later if necessary. Durga’s strength, as we seek it in our own behaviour, includes the courage to hold a boundary without making another person feel small.

Find where the understanding needs support

Suppose we are practising a short presentation with a cousin. We understand the outline after reading it once. Our cousin needs to say each point aloud before the order becomes clear. Repeating, “It is simple,” contributes nothing. The words describe our experience while dismissing theirs. A more useful response is, “Would it help if you spoke through the first section and I listened?” This changes the method without turning the learner into a problem. It also gives us something concrete to observe instead of guessing about effort.

Before offering another explanation, we can ask where the difficulty begins. Is the unfamiliar word confusing? Is the order difficult to remember? Does the person understand each step but struggle when the steps are combined? These are different needs. Speaking more loudly or repeating the same sentence may answer none of them. A brief question can save both people from frustration. In conversations prompted by IW7, we can practise noticing the exact point of uncertainty and responding to that point alone.

Allow time while remaining available

There is also a difference between allowing time and abandoning someone. Saying, “Take your time,” while looking away in irritation does not feel welcoming. We can remain available without staring at every movement. Perhaps we arrange a short interval for independent practice and then check one agreed example. The learner gets breathing room; we get a clear way to participate. Such arrangements protect dignity because they make support predictable. They avoid the uneasy feeling that every hesitation is testing another person’s temper.

Make patience fair within a group

Fairness matters when several people are learning together. If one person needs an additional demonstration, others need not sit through an unlimited repetition. We can divide the activity sensibly. Those ready to proceed can work on a related exercise while the explanation continues nearby. Later, everyone can return to the common task. This is a practical adjustment rather than a ranking of people. We honour different needs while keeping the shared purpose visible. A group becomes stronger when help has a shape instead of becoming a source of resentment.

We must watch the language that slips out when frustration rises. “You always take forever” converts one delay into an identity. “Which part should we try again?” keeps the conversation open. A laugh exchanged over someone’s confusion may seem minor to the people laughing, but it can make future questions much harder. If we have spoken sharply, a direct repair helps: “I sounded impatient. Let us look at that part again.” We take responsibility for our words without demanding that the learner first prove their worthiness.

Notice the progress within changing questions

Prayer can support this effort by making our intention precise. Before a shared session, we may ask Durga for firmness over our own irritation and kindness towards another person’s effort. Then we choose one visible practice: let the question finish before answering, offer one clear example, or agree on a pause without sarcasm. The prayer and the action belong together. At Ishta Mel, devotion becomes meaningful in the way we make space for someone whose understanding does not arrive at the same moment as ours.

A useful sign of progress is a change in the questions being asked. Someone may move from asking what the task means to asking why one choice works better. That movement deserves our attention even when the work remains unfinished. Naming it gently, without making a performance of praise, helps us recognise understanding as a process with several stages.

At the end, we can notice whether the person understands more and whether our own behaviour helped that understanding. We may still prefer a faster pace. We may also need a different arrangement next time. What changes is our willingness to treat the other person with respect while making those choices. Let IW7 remind us that strength need not rush another mind. With Durga in our thoughts, we can pursue excellence and still leave room for different beginnings, different questions and the patient work through which people become capable.